Change of Mind
by bittersweetmelody47
Summary: On a seemingly normal Saturday, two weeks after Kate's trial, Jack shows up at her front door. Jate. Spoilers only for 4x04 "Eggtown".


Disclaimer: _LOST_ is the property of ABC.

Change of Mind

"Mommy, wake up."

She stirs, rolling over to the side as Aaron climbs up onto the bed, jumping up and down.

She opens her eyes slowly and smiles, her hands shooting out to grasp Aaron's sides, pulling him down towards her as he laughs gleefully.

She looks over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 9:02.

"Go watch TV and I'll fix your breakfast," She says. "Isn't Spongebob on right now?"

Aaron nods excitedly-- it was his favorite TV show in the mornings-- and with a grin he jumps back off the bed.

She watches as he runs out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the living room, his light blue pajamas a blur.

She lies back on the bed, rubbing her eyes as she hears the faint sound of the TV clicking on and the Spongebob Squarepants theme song begin to play.

After a minute or so, she yawns and sits up, throwing the covers off and making her way towards the stairs.

It was a Saturday, and just like every other day since the trial.

In the kitchen she reaches for a box of Cap'n Crunch, then proceeds to grab milk out of the refrigerator, then a bowl out of a cabinet above her.

After she gets his breakfast together, she watches him silently, how he sits on the couch, his thin legs crossed Indian-style as he clutches the killer whale she had bought for him recently, his face set in concentration at the TV before him.

Sometimes it's still hard for her to believe that the trial is over, that she is free; even with the ten years probation she still considers herself a free woman, regardless.

She was very lucky-- no jail time-- and she finally didn't have to run anymore.

Because of Aaron, she has no reason to.

But she does find herself wondering what would've happened to him if she _had_ been sentenced with jail time. After she had reflected on it, she came to the conclusion that Jack would take him. They had never discussed it beforehand, but she knew Jack, and therefore she knows without a doubt that he would have raised Aaron as his own, just as she is doing now.

She tries not to think about Jack too much, but she finds that it's pretty much impossible for her not to.

It's been two weeks since she had seen him, since she had told him that he would have to be willing to see Aaron before they could begin anything.

It hurt her to say it, but she had to.

Though ever since that day, while she had been content with her new life as a mother, she can't help but feel like something crucial is missing.

It's a feeling, every day she wakes up, that she still can't shake.

She blinks, breaking out of her reverie.

She isn't going to think about that today. Today is going to be a good day for both her and Aaron, she is adamant on that.

She takes a spoon out of a drawer and sticks it in the bowl of cereal, carrying it to the kitchen table.

"Aaron," She declares, putting on a smile. "Here's your breakfast."

* * *

After helping Aaron put on his blue jean shorts, she pulls the red t-shirt over his head, then looks around his bedroom for his shoes.

"Where are your sneakers?" She asks.

Aaron looks at her, his light eyebrows furrowing in thought. "Um, yesterday I took them off at the front door and I think I left them there."

She nods. "All right, I'll get them. You get together what you want to bring to the park."

"Okay, mommy."

She walks down the stairs, tightening her ponytail.

She had dressed simply for today-- blue jean shorts and a pale green t-shirt-- and she had to admit that it feels weird to be wearing shorts, something she hasn't done in quite a while.

She spots the shoes and approaches them, bending down to pick them up.

Then the doorbell rings.

At first she draws back sharply, startled, but after a few seconds she regains her composure.

Sometimes she has nightmares that one of these days the doorbell will ring and when she answers it, policemen will be there, brandishing handcuffs, stating, "We made a mistake, Miss Austen. You need to come with us.", and she's handcuffed in front of Aaron, the policemen leading her out the door, with her wondering if she'll ever see him again.

Even though she knows that will never happen, the thought of it still frightens her beyond anything.

But she brushes that thought aside and opens the door.

And she's startled again at what she does see.

Jack is standing there, in blue jeans and a t-shirt, his car keys enclosed in one hand, a nervous smile on his face.

"Jack," She declares, surprised. "Hi."

"Hi," He answers, and she can tell he doesn't really know where to begin.

They merely stare at each other for a few seconds, until Aaron's voice breaks the awkward silence.

"Mommy, can I bring these with me?"

She turns hastily to look, sighting the stuffed animals in his arms.

"Uh, no, sweetie, you need to leave those…" She replies, trailing off as her eyes meet Jack's again.

"Aaron," She continues. "Come here; there's someone I want you to meet."

Aaron obediently comes to stand at her side.

Jack looks down at him, smiling, but she can tell by the way he's standing, so tense and guarded, that he's more nervous than ever.

She sees Aaron looking up at Jack in confusion.

"This is Jack," She explains, and after a few seconds' hesitation, she adds, "He knew you when you were a baby."

"Oh," Aaron says, and she expects more questions, but instead his face breaks into a cheerful grin. "Hi."

Jack appears surprised at Aaron's immediate likeness to him, but he masks it and ruffles Aaron's hair. "Hey, buddy. It's nice to see you again."

Her heart warms at this reunion; it's what she had wished for so long.

"We were getting ready to go to the park," She says, and tries not to sound too hopeful. "You want to come with us?"

"Please," Aaron chimes in excitedly. "It'll be fun. You can push me on the swings."

At first a hesitant expression comes over Jack's face, the exact same expression she had seen that day before she had gotten in that taxi, and she's so sure he'll decline, again, but then he dispels it and smiles. "Sure."

Her lips curve into a relieved smile in return.

* * *

After Jack pushes Aaron on the swings like he had said he would, he joins her on the bench she's sitting on.

Some of the other mothers that she's acquainted with had greeted her, but seeing that she had company, they had kept it brief.

She did catch the secretive smiles they had given her as they had walked away towards their own children, when their eyes had flashed in Jack's direction, and she knows what they're thinking.

They think that Jack is Aaron's father.

And she feels a twinge of embarrassment, especially after seeing the expression on Jack's face and knowing that he had noticed the women's not so subtle smiles, because she has no desire at all to contradict them.

"So, Jack," She begins as he sits down next to her. "Been busy fixing people?"

It's her attempt at small talk and she breathes a little better when he lets out a small laugh.

"Yeah. I do my best."

She nods, smiling, but she can't think of what else to say.

So she looks around for Aaron, immediately spotting him playing with toy cars in the sand with some of the other children, his blonde hair shining beneath the sun.

"Kate," Jack says suddenly after a few moments, and she turns to look at him, a little taken aback by the emotion in his light brown eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't come to see you and Aaron earlier."

She shakes her head at him, shrugging. "It's okay, Jack. What matters is that you're here now."

"No, it's not," He disagrees, his mouth setting in a grim line. "I've been thinking a lot since that day, and I should've followed you like you asked."

She smiles reassuringly at him, a gust of wind blowing at her face. "Jack, seriously, it's okay."

He studies her for a moment, squinting from the sun, then he chuckles, relaxing. "Okay."

There is one thing she has to tell him, though; something that she knows she can't avoid any longer.

"Jack, look," She says, tentative, and he waits patiently. "I know how you feel about this… because of Claire…"

She almost stops now, as Jack's face tightens and he looks away, but she pushes on, because it has to be said.

"But we couldn't just leave Aaron on that island. We had no choice, you know that, Jack. I think Claire would've understood. I think she'd be happy that someone's taking care of Aaron."

She watches as he swallows thickly, his eyes still not fixed on her, but instead now on Aaron.

Aaron laughs loudly in the distance (she would know that laugh anywhere) and she thinks she sees the corners of Jack's mouth twitch, as if to form a smile.

But then it's gone.

She chews on her bottom lip, flicking off a small leaf that rests on her leg from the wind earlier.

"About that," Jack finally says, but there's no regret in his voice, nor is his face tight anymore, but calm instead. "Aaron needs a father."

She knows that. She thinks about it, worries about it, every day. She remembers the first time Aaron had asked her about his father; it was six months ago and she had been so caught off guard that the only answer she could muster up on the spot was that he was "away". When Aaron had asked her a few weeks later if his father was ever coming back, it nearly broke her heart to reply that she didn't know.

She had told Aaron afterward that she loved him and that he would always have her because she would never leave him. But the disappointed look on his face had made her feel so ashamed.

His real father was out there somewhere, and she _could_ track him down and give Aaron to him.

That would be the right thing to do, considering he is blood-related to Aaron, and therefore is the first to have the right to raise him.

But due to the fabricated stories Jack had urged her to go along with, she can't.

A part of her honestly doesn't want to, anyway, and that only makes her feel more ashamed.

"I know," She replies softly, furrowing her brow as she stares at Aaron as he pushes his toy car through the sand, making sounds to accommodate it.

"I'll be his father," Jack states solemnly, and she looks back at him quickly. "I'm ready, Kate. I want to do this."

His eyes are so genuine and she wants to cry.

But instead she smiles and nods.

Afterward they both are quiet, the silence peaceful, because there's simply nothing else to say.

Well, perhaps one more thing.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," She admits, and he looks at her.

The wind blows again, a stray hair breaking free from her ponytail, and she tucks it behind her ear.

"Me too," He agrees, and grins, his eyes alight, and suddenly he's back to being the Jack she's known, the Jack she's missed.

* * *

After Jack offers to take her and Aaron out to lunch, he drives them home.

When he parks the car in the driveway, she looks over at him from the passenger seat as he checks the rearview mirror.

"I guess Aaron really wore himself out today," Jack says, amused, and she turns in her seat to look at the back where Aaron is sitting in his car seat, his head lolling to the side and his mouth slightly open, lost in a deep sleep.

She laughs quietly. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll carry him inside," Jack says, moving to get out of the car.

But she reaches out to stop him, her fingers touching his bicep, something she's done so many times on that island and off, and he looks back at her, a questioning look on his face.

She leans in and their lips meet.

It's been so long since she's kissed him.

His hand threads through her hair, resting at the back of her neck, and she closes her eyes.

And she realizes that that feeling of something missing is no longer there.

_Fin. _


End file.
